The last 3 months of my life

           Well, it has been 3 months since I wrote on here and a lot has changed in my personal and professional life. Well, I will start with my professional life because it seems to be the easiest to talk about for right now. Let’s start with school. School has NOT been easy for me this term and I think I know why. I have been in school since 2007 until now and I am still going to school. I will have been in school for 6 years, when I graduate in June 2013. So my motivation has gone down badly. I am losing my drive to want to learn and to do better. It shows in my General Point Average (GPA). When I graduated in 2009, I had a GPA of 3.8, now I am down to a GPA of 3.2. This isn’t me, I know it isn’t, but I am at a point in my life where I just want to graduate and move forward. I want to be working in my field. So, I am hoping that when I graduate or sooner I can find a job in my field and get the hands on experience that I need for my field.

            Jobs are hard to find anywhere in the world right now, but I think it is a little harder to find out in Michigan. The only reason I want to stay in Michigan is because I have family and friends here. That is the ONLY REASON, I don’t like Michigan winters because it hurts my wrists (Carpal Tunnel) which they freeze up in the winter. I would like to move out of state, but I will look for a job here first. The only other reason I would stay in Michigan is if MR. Right (The One) found me and I know we would be going places in a relationship. Anyways, jobs are hard to find and finding them in a location that is good with good pay is even harder. So I am hoping to get my resume updated and my portfolio redone before next spring and to have finished a few movie/miniseries before classes start again and a Demo Reel done too.

            Now for my personal life which has been crazy the last three months, but here it goes anyways. Weight has been an issue with me since I was a kid. About 6 months ago, I decided to change my life with weight. I decided it wasn’t going to control me anymore and it was working up until 3 weeks ago. I was losing weight (34 pounds at the time), but then a guy found me on one of the dating sites I am on and we clicked. I was still working out because I was doing it for me and not him. There was some bumps in the road with the relationship, but we got through it or so I thought. I had told him to take some time for himself and he said, “NO, NO, I’m Fine.” So I took him at his word, well during this time I helped him with washing his clothes and helped clean his apartment. Now, I never do that kind of thing for a guy unless I know I have something with him. Well, After helping him out and saying the 3 words, I LOVE YOU then it went downhill after those words were said, but not from me. I stated that I wouldn’t say them first. He did during sex. I said it in return because I felt it in my heart. Well a week later, the guy tells me that he feels like crap and doesn’t want to date me anymore because he needs time to think things through. He said he would contact me in 3 weeks. Well, this Thursday is 3 weeks and I am not looking forward to it. I told him I have let him go and I have. Since that time, I have forgiven him. I feel that holding a grudge will not help me at all. In turn of letting him go, I have been eating like crazy and not watching my food intake. I think I have gained 5 or more pounds. I just getting over the ex and when he “needed time for himself” he left me during my hell weeks of school. That is 2 hell weeks of classes. I call them hell weeks because it is my make it or break it time for getting all homework done (which I have been behind in since the start of classes) or I fail and have to pay for classes out of pocket. On top of all that, I was to get my monthly visitor and I didn’t want to weight in those last 2 hell weeks of school because of the ex, period, and overeating. Now that school is finally out (Thank YOU GOD!) now I can get back to me. I can get back to writing in my food journal which I started this week (which isn’t easy, but learning again).

            Now getting back to me is the hard part, as soon as school got out I went to work all week (day and night), which I love, but what I didn’t know was going to happen was that my folks had some car trouble upnorth and no one to help them. I offered to help because they are my family. SO I did, but I did a no no and got into trouble. Now I am hoping My boss will understand. If not, guess I am back to looking for a job, but anyways that is life.

            So I have been keeping busy with my friends and trying new activities. The first being on Sunday, I went with my one of my Best Friends to a renaissance festival in Vassar Michigan. It was small and nice. Their clothes were more affordable and so were the products. We watched a fire show with lady and Gypsies dancing. It was nice. Then later that night, My friends joined a competition. I don’t think I can do it, but I will give it a shot. Congrats to my friends that did do it. I am proud of them. As for more activities that I have been doing, I trying rollerblading, but my rollerblades are so old that they cracked on me, now I have to get them all replaced. I played tennis and I found it to be very fun. I think I will be trying the sport more this summer. I think I will be trying swimming, water aerobics, soccer, and some more when I can think of them. I will be putting them up on here and tell of the experiences. I am going to lose the weight I gain and then some.

Also I am  getting some personal projects done this summer besides the ones I listed up above, I am planning to do some arts (latch and hook) rugs, reading a few school books and 3 personal books. One is a romance (since I have none in my life, I can at least read it), second is how to read men, and the third is a series about the Hunger Games (my friends want me to read it. So I will give it a try.) I am also going shopping/garage sale shopping for my future home. I am also taking a few vacations this summer. Well, that is all I have for now, but I will keep everyone updated on my life.

Weigh Gain and it SUCKS!

Here is the update. I was losing weight. I had lost up to 20 lbs, until 3 weeks ago. I had gained a pound. I started to gain weight and I got discouraged and wanted to give up. My Friend wouldn't let me and I was thankful for her at that time. Then the last week I gained another 2.2 pounds and I wanted to give up. My friend couldn't take the pressure I was giving her and she wanted to give up on me. I understand the stress, but I thought to myself that their is another person giving up on me. We talked it out and I went through my emotional ups and downs. Last Thursday, I took it out on my friend, then Friday I didn't want to talk about it, but my friends did. I knew if I would have said something, things would have gone a lot worse. SO I decided to keep my mouth shut, but what I wanted to say when on my video which I plan to post soon. Then we talked it out and I know they are just trying to help, but sometimes I just need to not talk about the situation. So on Saturday, I went to the gym to get some inspiration to keep going. I did and I worked out for 2 hours that day. Then Sunday, I took the day off to do some much needed school work and to rest my muscles from the long workout.

On Monday I worked out my Zumba as usual, then Tuesday when to down hill from there. I got into a car accident which I am fine, just a swollen right arm and a knee problem. So I took the day off from that then I took Wednesday off because of the arm. Today, I didn't work out because I was cleaning a house today. I do the same thing tomorrow and babysit too. I also weighed in and I gained another 2.0 pounds. That is a total of 5.3 pounds in 3 weeks. Some people tell me it is muscle because of me working out so much, others say it stress. I don't know what it is, but it is making me feel discouraged and I feel like giving up. So what I have decided to do so when I am on vacation in three weeks, I will not measure myself. I am also thinking of not weighing myself the week before I leave, so I don't have to worry or stress about it. So now I am trying to figure out what is happening to me? and why this is happening to me?

I am hoping the weather is good because I want to go walking. On this Saturday, I am going out shopping with my brother Saturday morning, then going to see a movie later that night with the family.

Also I haven't been looking for a guy for a week now because they are causing me more stress and none of the guys that want to talk to me, don't want a relationship or looking for one. The guys that write me just want sex or sexting (Sex texting). I am sick of it. If a guy wants to know me as a person then get the secrets to sex then fine. Guys I am upfront with you about what I want and if you aren't then your not for me and move on please. This means if you look at five pounds of muscle and five pounds of fat side by side, the fat takes up more volume, or space, than the muscle.Your just wasting my time and yours.

So this week's tips:

Weight Gain/Lose Tip:

To gain one pound of weight you have to consume 3500 calories. One Pound of fat looks flappy compared to one pound of lean muscle. This means if you look at five pounds of muscle and five pounds of fat side by side, the fat takes up more volume, or space, than the muscle.

Dating Tip:

When you have a lot going on in your life, then this is a time to stop looking and take a break from looking for a man. Sometimes you need to focus on you before someone else.

Chicken Alfredo Pizza

Ingredients:

Two pre-made pizza crusts

9 tenderlions chicken pieces

Mushrooms and onions

Mozzarella cheese

1 Cup Broccoli

Alfredo sauce Ingredients:

1/4 cup butter

1 cup heavy cream

1 clove garlic, crushed

3/4 parmesan sheddered cheese

3/4 cup Italian cheese

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley


Directions:

Pre-Heat Oven for 375

Cook chicken in oil on stove top, until all cooked

Chop up chicken into bit sized pieces.

Directions for Sauce:

Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium low heat.

Add cream and simmer for 5 minutes,

Add garlic and cheese and whisk quickly, heating through.

Stir in parsley and serve.

Chill Alfredo sauce for 1/2 hour.

Spread sauce on pre-made pizza crust

put chopped chicken and veggies.

Top with cheese.

Cooked about 10-12 minutes or until golden brown on the crust

Try this out and tell me what you think.

Also watch Rocelle at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX8oG0oVknM&context=C3127c58ADOEgsToPDskKvzMuCs3R33mcCC-f3o3yH

UPDATE!

Well, I know I haven’t been on here in close to a month now and I am sorry about not writing sooner. I have been drowning in homework and personal problems which I will explain later. My weight lose has got its ups and down right now, but most of the time it is the same a rollercoaster. Anyways, this will be my longest blog yet so beware!

Weight Lose: Well three weeks ago I lost about 3.5 pounds and I felt amazing and I have no Idea what I did. I think it is because I started working out every day for an hour compared to me working out 5 days a week. I was also pre-making my snacks for the week. The snacks were broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower and for my fruit it was graphs and apples. The apples I had 2 TBSP creamy peanut butter with it and some honest to satisfy my sweet tooth. I was making eggs white (in a box) with one regular egg then I would add veggies, one meat and feta cheese to the egg mix. It was great. For lunch I would have my friends healthy left overs that her husband won’t eat and I ate them because I knew it wouldn’t go to waste. My friend and I don’t like it when food goes to waste, just bad. Then at night I would have my dinner from my mom but I would cut the portions in half. I did the same thing (cutting my portions in half) whenever I ate at a restaurant, that helps me control my portions. I got that tip from my friend (thanks girl). I was drinking more water too. I also started 2 video blogs, one for myself and the other with my friend. It helps talking about it. So I was getting better until the next week.

Two weeks ago I gained weight, not much (.2 lbs) and I was upset because that Friday I was dancing with my friend and only had one beer. Then on Saturday last week I went to Ann Arbor for the U of M campus and it was AMAZING! I got pictures and a new hat, but anyways I walked 6 HOURS! I worked out Sunday and I was hurting from the walking but I still worked out. Then Monday came and my body told me NO, I can’t move. My muscles were so tight that I could move or bend at all until I go a message from my brother’s girlfriend. Tuesday to the rest of the week I worked out and it was great feeling. I found out that I like to work out now.

Last week, I eat my controlled portion sizes, did my workout, and drank my water and it felt great. I worked out with a friend and her kids. When on a 2 hour walk and it was nice. We talked about a lot of dreams we have, activities we want to do this summer, and plans for the future. It made the walking go by faster and enjoyable. So food is going better for me, but now I am trying to get my 64 oz of water in a day and it’s not easy, but I am trying. I work out now for an hour and 10 minutes. Next week I am making it an hour and 15 minutes. I am trying to get it up to 2 hours of working out, but I am taking it slowly.

This week is a little harder on food because it is getting close to that time of the month for me and I love chocolate during that time, I am trying to watch my calorie intake because I am back on the gastric bypass pre-surgery diet again. Like I was in December to January and I try to do it once a month now, but I am working on it. It hard to change habits each month but it is a learning process for me.

Homework: As for my homework…Well, let’s just say that I am not sticking to the New Year’s Resolution as much as I wanted too. This year I wanted to make sure I got my homework in on time, but it doesn’t look like that is going to happen this term. I am turning my stuff in on time for one class but the two other’s I am behind in. I am hoping to get ahead here soon. See this term is ALL CORE CLASSES, which means that I have NO TIME to do anything else but these classes. Two classes are digital Video Production and one is Graphic which I am more behind in that then any other class I have. So I will be working on homework most of the weekend.

Personal Problems: As for my personal problems, well I have been trying to put myself out there more to meet a guy, but it’s not working to my advantage at all. Some of the guys I get messages are rude or just wanting the FWB (Friends with Benefits), which I can’t do FWB because I want and need something more than just sex with a guy. I need/want a connection with someone before having sex with them. I want to get to know the person and how they act around me, also wanting to know that they want the same things in the end (marriage with kids) or it is waste of our time. Anyways, so I figure that online dating is good, but maybe meeting someone in person maybe the best thing for me. So if I go to the bar and I find someone I like then I will go up to them this year and not just look at them all the time. I know at the bar is not a good place to look because everyone there is mostly looking for sex, but I am trying other places. I just have to get the nerve to go up to them and talk to them. That is my problem is that I don’t go up to guys that I like because I am afraid that they will turn me down or have there girl beside them (which has happened to me already and I didn’t do even talk to the guy and I got into trouble.) Life can be interesting when you are single. LOL

Weight lose Tip:

After you lose about 10 or more lbs you will have to learn to change your habit again. I know this it is because I recently went through this already. So you will have to make sure that you only have half the food amount you really want then you will also have to watch the types of foods you will be eating. Make sure you get more water to drink, drink about 64 oz or more of water a day.

Dating Tips:

Whenever meeting someone from online make sure it is in a public place and have a backup plan. What I mean for a backup plan is for example, when meeting at an Applebee’s and you have a feeling the guy may not show, make sure you have the money with you to buy a dinner. Also you could make conversation with the waitress or bring a book. Then you can eat and not look so bad. Again this happened to me recently and I think I got through it alright.

Come watch my blogs on Youtube and look for jennifervideos28 Or http://www.youtube.com/user/jennifervideos28?ob=0

Good Luck and I hope to hear back from you soon.

Update on life to this point

Well, It has been almost a week since I last wrote on my blog. A lot has changed since then and I am hoping to update everyone on the progress.

Friday

I went to work as usual and did my hour work out. I had a great day that day because of the Zumba video. After work I paid some bills as usual then went to babysit my adopted kids (my friend’s kids) and made dinner for them and for the girls that night. I also go some good leftovers from my friend (healthy) and I used them for my lunches. I don’t like it when food goes to waste. Anyways, I got to watch Super 8 with my friends and it was interesting. Then took a friend home that night.

Saturday

I got up and made breakfast, cleaned house, then went shopping the rest of the day. I finally got all healthy food for the month and it is good. I got Hazelnut Peanut butter made with skim milk and it was lower in fat. I got honey, fruits and vegetables. I feel better for buying healthy foods. I am hoping it works out better for me. I got more food then that but I won’t list it because it is too long. I also got another friend’s son a birthday gift that he would like for his party. I also picked them up and dropped them off too. I did some homework for my Letter Y for my graphic class. Then I went home late that night because I hung around to talk with her and another friend of mine.

Sunday

I got up and made a good breakfast for my brother and he girlfriend and myself. Then I made whole wheat banana bread with my brother. He was very helpful with getting ingredients to make the bread. I also pre-made my veggie and fruit bags for the week. These are my snack bags I eat every two or three hours in between breakfast, lunch, dinner. Then I went to work out on my Wii Biggest Loser Challenge. I had to reset the profile and I got weighted again and I found I weigh 292.8 which I was sad because that means I still haven’t lost weight. I still did my workout, but I was upset by the total. Luckily, my brother was there and he surprised me when he started working out with me. I was glad that he was working out with me it means that I am getting through to one of my family members. After the workout I decided to pre-make dinner so when my parents come home I could just through it in the oven. I made a great dinner I thought, that was until my parents got home. My mom had the right to ask me if that was all I was making for dinner, which I made cheeseburger pie with a salad and the whole wheat banana bread. They wanted more and she was telling me that he was going to make more. I was pissed off and got into it with my mom. I thought it was disrespectful that she wouldn’t wait until I was done with dinner to find out if she was going to be full or not. I told them that I was going by the portion size and my parents were telling me that wasn’t enough for them. I told them that after dinner if they were still hungry they could go out to the kitchen and make something else. They ended up adding more veggies to the plate and I was okay with that choice. After the fight I wanted to so badly eat a lot of food, but I drank some water then had a mini bag of popcorn which it the shot nice. After that I did some homework then went to bed.

Monday

I went to work as usual and did my workout of an hour and then went to school.

Tuesday

I woke up really trusty and I drank 1 liter of water within 2 hours. Then I went to work and did an hour and a half workout that day. I didn’t know it was that long, but I drank another 1 liter of water again. Then after getting cleaned up and had a veggie snack I had 1 liter water again. I decided not to go to class because of the weather/icy roads. I was glad because my teachers have been making me stay until the end of class that I was not getting enough sleep after class and work in the morning. So I got caught up on my sleep. I started to do one of my DVP classes and the files weren’t working for me. Luckily, I know someone in class that is nice enough to help me and my teacher. I emailed both and I am hoping to hear back from them soon.

Wednesday

Well, today I felt sore, but that is because I have been working out every day now. So after working out I feel better. I am trying to get things organized for this term to get things done on time for a change. I am trying to change my habits this year. I just hope it works out this time. I also felt great this morning. I feel my clothes are getting bagger and I feel slimmer each day I wake up. It is a nice feeling to feel that way now. Well, I have to go, but here are my tips for the week/day:

Weight Lose Tip:

Pre-made your meals or snacks for the week. When you pre-make your meals/snacks for the week it helps on not making impulse buying that is unhealthy to you. You can also keep track of the amount of the food and how many times you want to eat during the day. If you have a busy schedule then this is your solution. Plus it will help save you money.

Dating Tips:

When trying to look for someone, be honest with them and don’t play head games. For example, if you are looking for Marriage and the guy wants just a friends with benefits thing then you should let them go. Being honest with yourself will help you in the long run from not getting hurt as much. Plus you’re not fooling yourself or the other person.

Suckie days

Well, today was weigh in and it wasn’t good at all. I gained 1.8 pounds. Now I am at 291.2 pounds. I don’t know if it is because of my monthly friend came last night or because of what I eat this week. So I have one week for the period to be over and as for the food, all I can do is watch what I eat. My friend lost 5 pounds and I am glad for her, but I feel like crying because I didn’t lose anything. Now, I know in a previous blog I make sure you look forward and not back on the problem and dwell on the problem. I am looking back but trying to figure out what I did wrong so I won’t gain more weight next week. I got some get advice from my friend which I will be using for this coming week.

So besides my weight making me have a bad mood, I am having my period and it’s the first time in 3 years since I have been off Birth Control (BC). So I am not used to the pain that comes with it. The BC usually helped with the pain because it would make it shorter. So now, since I am single again I decided to get off the BC because it was a waste of money. I wasn’t going to keep paying for a product I wasn’t getting any use out of it. I have been single 11 months now and I have not had sex since my last relationship. Now some people would go crazy for not having sex for that all, but I am okay with it. I have toys, but it’s still not that same. I do miss the touch of a man, but I will not let that be the reason to just have sex with anyone. I am looking for a meaningful relationship with someone and I am hoping to find that same thing in a man. So yeah life sucks a little right now, but I am working on myself. While I do that maybe the right man will step up and talk to me or call me. I never know.

So, I am going home after work and planning to work out then go pick up a friend from work. Then back to school work again. I feel that working out helps me with my emotions and sadness. Well, tomorrow will be a better day.

Weight Loss Tip: Emotions:

Emotions can make you want to eat more and more. It can also make you feel let down my for the choices you picked, well look back and don’t do it again. Don’t dwell on it because it will just cause you more problems than solving them. Writing and exercising are a good way to lose weight and stress. If you have a hobby that makes you feel good then do it.

Here is a website for celebrates that love their thin or big bodies.

http://music.yahoo.com/photos/singers-who-love-their-bodies--1326310584-slideshow/a-photo-1326310313.html

Dating Advice: Lonely:

Whenever you feel lonely, put on a movie. It can be a chick flix or an action film. Go out and do something that makes you happy. When a guy sees you doing something you enjoy then more than likely he will come over to you. Or be brave and go up to him.

Here is a website that everyone that is single should watch:

http://screen.yahoo.com/free-love-advice-party-edition-27706960.html

School has started again, BLAH!

So, I got this title from a friend and yes, I have started school too. Unlike my friend her schools are closer to her. My classes are an hour and a half away from where I live. So I spend about 8 hours in 3 days on the road sitting down. I wish I could be working out in that time. Luckily my boss lets me work out when I am at work. I pick my dates from when working out. I usually work out Wednesday through Sunday, but this week out worked out Monday then Thursday through Sunday. I decided to work out Monday before class and I lived it, but since I worked out Tuesday through Monday last week to this week and because of the working out all week long I over work my muscles which made me sore. So I decided to take Tuesday and Wednesday off from working out. I am cleaning a house all day tomorrow and that is a workout because I never sit down once and I am lifting a lot of heavy things. Then on Friday I go back to my regular work out which is walking 30 minutes then whatever video I want to learn for 30 or more minutes.

As for the food lately I have been trying to eat better. I make a big breakfast now that gets me through snack time, and then Lunch is more veggies less carbs and the same for dinner too. All I am doing is cutting back on my portions, but I will find out how well I am doing when I weigh in tomorrow. So most of my eating is on the go and I found some snacks that were good on the go snacks to eat and filling too. Fiber one bars with a half a fresh green pepper with water. Or a Whole wheat bread with reduced fat peanut butter and a teaspoon of honey with water and half a green pepper. A fruit cup and a low-fat yogurt with water or another is a Fullbar meal replacement with water. I don’t suggest staying on the Fullbars because your body will get used to the Fullbars and not want to lose weight. It is all about portion control and watching your Calories, Fat from Calories, Saturated Fats and dietary fiber. Fiber fills you up more than anything and it help with a good digestive system too.

Anyways, while I drive to my classes I move to the beat as much as I can when I drive. I got up early today because of the fact I had to go to the damn car shop again because the stupid car is still smelling up my vent with a burning mental smell. Mind you that I never had this problem before it got fixed. SO I am hoping the finally figure out the stupid thing.

As for classes they are going smoothly for now. Love life has its ups and downs right now, but I have to believe that I will find someone this year or god will find him for me. Now time for my Weight Loss tips and Love Advice.

Weight Loss Tip:

You should exercise at least 5 days a week. Taking 2 days off for your muscles to heal will help and soreness you have been experiencing, but make sure you go right back to exercising. If you don’t then you will be in the same situation as usual. So keep exercising and keep moving forward.

Dating Advice:

When talking to a guy or a girl please DON’T BRING UP SEX OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH SEX ON A FIRST CONVERSATION. If a man brings up the sex talk first then a woman knows that the man just want sex from her and nothing more. If a woman brings up the conversation first then more than likely she wants something serious with you and not just sex. So men BE a gentleman and you may get a woman that will rock your world.